Many adoptive, foster, stepmoms, and grandmothers are suffering in silence. No one in the world of adoption is giving them the tools for recovery. No one is teaching them how to handle adoptee pushback and rejection. No one is wrapping arms around them and praying when all they can do is cry.

When moms realize the unknown depth of their child’s trauma, a common reaction is self-doubt. If she doesn’t know what happened, how can she find words to help her child process it? It’s terrifying, like climbing Everest without ropes.

She's so self-doubting that she almost always concludes that she doesn't have what it takes to parent her child. Truth be known, she looks over the cliffs of depression more times than she'd care to admit.

I’m a loser mom.
I can’t self-regulate, let alone teach my child to do the same.
I can’t attach with my child...and I never will have it.
I am inept as a mom.
I can’t even decide whether to have a peanut butter sandwich.
I’m a mess.
I don’t have what it takes.
I’m a lousy mom.
I hate myself.
I’ll never be able to meet my child’s need for mothering.

The good news is that the dream can be reshaped, and in that painful space, God does His most sacred work by meeting us in our brokenness, holding our hearts, and gently replanting hope.

Stay tuned for upcoming podcasts and updates about my upcoming book.

Chart: Apple Podcasts – Jamaica – Parenting

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